Far Cry movie trailer is predictably terrible

120 Comments by Christopher Grant Feb 14th 2008 8:29PM
Filed under: Culture

With any luck, we won't be writing too many more posts announcing trailers for Uwe Boll's game-to-movie crapfests but, until that time comes, we feel it's our duty to bring this excrement to your attention (if only to be summarily panned in the comments). Here you are, cinéastes: Far Cry, An Uwe Boll Joint. Now look what you've done Ubisoft. Just when we were ready to be excited about this franchise again, you've licensed the property to the one man capable of making the name enough to turn our stomachs. Find out for yourself after the break.

[Thanks, EternityInBlack]

Tags: Far-Cry, Movies, Ubisoft, Uwe-Boll

(Page 1) Reader Comments

fischju: Feb 14th 2008; 8:35PM

That's it, I'm denouncing religion. There is no god.

GreyFox: Feb 14th 2008; 11:54PM

But apparently there are cameo's from SG-1. WTF?!

ViagraFiend: Feb 15th 2008; 2:19PM

That was so bad that my nose started bleeding while I was watching that.

Or maybe that was the line of coke I did right before I pressed play... :|

hvnlysoldr: Feb 15th 2008; 10:31PM

The only good point is the SG-1 cameo.

Nick the Hero of Canton: Feb 14th 2008; 8:36PM

On the upside, we get HOLY SHIT THE FEDORA HAT IS BACK! trailer today, but on the downside, we get Far Cry :(

Wait...hold on...hold on...wait for it...

: (

Get it? Far Cry? Get it? Man, I'm lame.

Nick the Hero of Canton: Feb 14th 2008; 8:37PM

Great, it wouldn't let me put all those spaces between : and ( to make my crappy lame joke

KeenCommander: Feb 15th 2008; 12:58AM

I see how you failed there.

Nick the Hero of Canton: Feb 16th 2008; 3:28PM

I saw it first.

Vladimir356: Feb 14th 2008; 8:36PM

omg lol.

this is gunna sell just as good as crysis!

born2expire: Feb 14th 2008; 8:54PM

ummm crysis went platinum douche bag, it sold just fine.

Cyro: Feb 14th 2008; 10:42PM

Right..... There isn't 1 million people in the world with fast enough computers that can play Crysis. :P

born2expire: Feb 14th 2008; 11:31PM

http://www.joystiq.com/2008/02/01/crysis-goes-platinum/

DangerMouse: Feb 15th 2008; 12:32AM

I'm pretty sure they meant the game can render a platinum texture real time with DirectX 10.

Moorio || peacebyanymeans: Feb 14th 2008; 8:37PM

"BASED ON THE BEST SELLING VIDEOGAME"

Oh god... why would you start your trailer with that? That can only mean bad things.

capt_carl: Feb 14th 2008; 10:06PM

Fact.

Mal F4cti0n: Feb 15th 2008; 12:48AM

The name Uwe Boll carries much more dread.....

Limezor: Feb 14th 2008; 8:38PM

Oh come on, it doesn't look THAT bad.
Does it?

The Artist formally known as Jesus: Feb 14th 2008; 8:40PM

It does

Gehodra: Feb 14th 2008; 8:52PM

Eh, I'm sure our reactions to the trailer are at least slightly influenced by the fact that we know its a Boll film.

If I didn't know that, I might have held a shred of hope.

BigD145: Feb 14th 2008; 9:25PM

If you're seen the trailer, you've seen the movie. You don't even have to open your wallet. You did make the mistake of opening your eyes, though.

Shinagani: Feb 15th 2008; 8:35AM

The fact is, that trailer is better than the actual movie will be- that's why we're condemning it already.

chenry: Feb 15th 2008; 10:05AM

Yes. It does. It looks like a SciFi channel movie. It looks like a bad 90s low-budget action movie.

GRANTED: Feb 15th 2008; 10:53AM

Til Schweiger is...

WAIT--WHO THE FUCK IS TIL SCHWEIGER?

Derek Rudolph: Feb 14th 2008; 8:40PM

What the heck? Doe Uwe Boll crap out a new video game movie every 3 months? And what in the heck does this have to do with the game other than the main character?

P.S. Somebody make damn well sure Quentin Tarentino, John Woo, or Robert Rodriguez will get the Metal Gear Solid movie! Don't tell Uwe about this!

cxm: Feb 14th 2008; 8:40PM

"Let's not go over the top"

Oh man, the irony

Doom3killer: Feb 14th 2008; 8:40PM

is it just me or was the first starting music from some other movie?

The Artist formally known as Jesus: Feb 14th 2008; 8:41PM

were you expecting something original from Uwe Boll?

generic: Feb 14th 2008; 9:21PM

Royalty-free, canned music.

That way you don't need to pay a composer or musicians!

FidliousWong: Feb 14th 2008; 11:06PM

Actully... it's The Crystal Method from their Legion of Boom CD..

Or is it sad that I know that?

Pie Pants: Feb 15th 2008; 12:51AM

Sad? No, I'm a Crystal Method fan myself. :P

What's sad is that good music is being used in such a bad film. Well, to be fair, I don't know it's bad yet - but it's Uwe Boll. I'll probably win the lottery before he makes a good movie.

Chameleon: Feb 15th 2008; 9:43AM

i may be swinging in the dark here, but did the beginning kind of sound like music from the recent batman movies ....

Nicholas Sulikowski: Feb 14th 2008; 8:41PM

Why, Don S. Davis, why?!

markhill66: Feb 14th 2008; 8:41PM

At least Anthony Bourdain gets a pretty sweet death scene in it.

james: Feb 14th 2008; 8:41PM

is that your gun?

no... it's my dick... we're both naked in a sleeping bag... i thought we were fucking

Halorin: Feb 15th 2008; 10:17AM

Funniest comment I've read all week.

weirdestchild: Feb 14th 2008; 8:41PM

Girl: Is that your gun, even though that we are spooning.

Jack: No, that's for fun.

ThornedVenom: Feb 14th 2008; 10:03PM

"This is my weapon, this is my gun.

This is for fighting, this is for fun."

finnith: Feb 14th 2008; 8:42PM

At least I know what I'm not going to do now

FidliousWong: Feb 14th 2008; 8:43PM

Maybe you guys should just ink Indiana Jones and the punching of aliens trailer instad. Or Wall-E...

I mean, eiously... he did the dick/erection joke... instaphail...

Shignami: Feb 14th 2008; 8:44PM

OH COME ON MAN.
Thats it, Uwe Boll has to be a troll or something, theres no way he can be serious about this shit.

It takes place in like, fucking Alaska!

And no! you don't have to use the sound effects from the game!

JimyD: Feb 14th 2008; 8:59PM

At least it has a classic quote, "You're making brainless monsters!" Substitute "movies" for "monsters" and you've got a one-line description of Uwe's resume.

Yagami-Iori: Feb 14th 2008; 8:45PM

I'm glad to see Jeff Gertsmann found something else to do related to video games.

Ethan: Feb 14th 2008; 8:45PM

I liked the delivery of the 'maniacs' line. That was it.

StalkerDan: Feb 14th 2008; 8:53PM

And here I thought generic sound effects were going out of style...

Especially the punching sounds. Those are my Fav.

Santo: Feb 14th 2008; 8:54PM

There was a Far Cry movie?

NATO_Duke: Feb 15th 2008; 10:32AM

If you use the term "movie" very loosely.

ApolloIV: Feb 14th 2008; 8:54PM

Best part of the trailer is that at the end it linked me to a Rush music video i didn't even know was real.

The Artist formally known as Jesus: Feb 14th 2008; 8:55PM

Joystiq should have posted the Indy 4 trailer to cancel out the lameness of this trailer

fischju: Feb 14th 2008; 8:55PM

Oh, General Hammond, how far the Stargate actors have fallen...

Phillip: Feb 14th 2008; 9:27PM

General "The Goo-uld" Hammond would be the only reason for me to see this film. ...and I'm not sure it's enough of one.

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